Humans have different types of addiction. Food, computer games, shoes, and even love. Love addiction is one kind of obsession that happens when an individual values the person that he or she loves more than himself or herself. Oftentimes, it causes self-neglect in terms of caring for ourselves to stay connected with the object of our affection. Before this, what does addiction mean, and is this a key towards personal growth or a deterrent to our entire being? Psychologically speaking, the development or progression of addictions acts as a shield from unbearable pains and it constantly creates harmful or taken for granted feelings. Most importantly, if somebody is an addict to love it is not only about romance or sex. The uncontrollable urge to love also pertains to children, family, guru, or even to a famed celebrity whom you have not met yet.
Love addiction and its helpless victims have specific cores of fantasies like the belief that someone else can solve their problems, provision of unconditional positive regard at all times, and someone who will take care of them without reservations. However, if these needs are not gratified people will feel resentful and could spark a personal conflict in a relationship. These types of people have a declining self-care percentage when they are currently involved in a relationship. Love addicts manifest themselves because of abandonment histories during their younger days by primary caregivers. In like manner, they need validation by their families or from one parent alone. Consequently, irrational validations affect their self-esteem, particularly in adult life.
How will you recover from the bondage of love addiction? Self-discovery is one of the best solutions. Among the steps to undertake are the following: Breaking the denial process and admit to himself or herself that she is under the spell of being an addict to love. Also, the person needs to explore his or her childhood experiences which could have triggered this psychological dilemma. Patients who are difficult to cure of this love’s deadly poison have been commonly characterized as extremely committed to relationships with two or more persons at the same time.
Moreover, try to stop love addiction by observing your behaviors. Write an inventory of the dysfunctional patterns of your current and past relationships. Be honest with your feelings and avoid blaming others. If you are not committed right now, try to be unattached for about six months. While writing a relationship inventory, look for common themes in your relationships. Next, do a self-evaluation before having a new relationship again. Assess how life would be if your self-responsibility will be utilized to a large extent. Always remember that the best kind of love is the one that will last forever. Acceptance of yourself and the one you love is your guides because these will be the keys to your happiness.