(MY LAST LOVE)
Immediately I dropped the phone, I felt a sharp excruciating pain within me. It was like a fatal blow, it seemed like a big bulldozer combined forces together with a caterpillar to smash and demolish the delicate walls of my heart. If the word ‘heart attack’ had ever struck me to be real, it was at this moment of my life. I couldn’t really tell what just occurred, I was battered and shattered all at the same time by multiple forces and factors that I couldn’t really understand and state clearly. Mixed confusing feeling of emotions rushing through my veins at very high velocity, depression, frustration and sadness all came knocking at my door all at once, all these unwelcomed strangers ready to pull me down and all I could do was to stare at the ceiling with my finger on my lip and my other hand wrapped around my trunk, I was trying hard to harmonize these different conflicting thoughts and memories hovering in my head.
My head, my mind and my heart were on fire and kept pounding fast, I had a moment of inquietude as I continued staring at the ceiling for hours, I couldn’t really tell exactly for how many hours. I was trying too hard to resolve the puzzle in my head.
“Wow, quiet unbelievable” I thought to myself.
Just then I encounter a moment of volcanic shock that brought me back from my subconscious world to reality.
“I think I should call back”.
I picked up my phone and dialed the number. The phone rang, the ringtone was awesome, one of the most popular love song trending as at then, but to me it was sounding like a noisy primary school rhyme that made no sense. After couple of rings, the call was cut off, I tried yet again and the call was cut off.
Wow the truth be told I never saw this coming. I was completely abashed, dismayed and perplexed, this had never happened before.
This whole saga started when I decided to give her a call as it is customary of me. I tried the number and a male voice answer the call and hung the call on me before I could utter a word. Strange indeed “why will she be around a male friend at the ungodly hour”? I spoke out, I was been stentorian, thinking aloud. It was now half past eleven midnight (11:30pm)
No I must get to the root of this matter.
I dialed the number for the fourth time, it rang and she picked up and responded in a rather hostile manner
“Hello, how may I help you”?
“Wow” I was so shocked that I fell into a trance.
“get off the phone immediately, it must be that looser again” a background male voice commanded/instructed and the phone was hung on me for the second time.
I tried the number continually until the line was disconnected and diverted probably to space.
I was all alone in this pain, no one to help me share some of these anguish and burden.
“How and when did this start”? how did I got blindfolded all these while and didn’t get to notice this”? It definitely didn’t start today”
“How could I be so dumb”
I took myself through series of interviews, and all of a sudden became a journalist to myself in quest of ultimate answers/information which wasn’t forth coming.
For the second time in my life, I felt like dying. The first time was when I didn’t get the required mark (score) needed to gain admission for my course of study into the university. But here I am now five years after graduating and successfully completing a one year compulsory service programme to my country/community, I found myself in a more dicey/complicated to situation when dying seems so appealing.
Aah indeed Love can make and love can break. Love is multi facet, it is like a tornado. How one moment it can pick/lift your whole life up high and place you above the whole universe giving you sweet sensation and the next moment after taking you so high it drops you from such height leaving you to fall with agitation and smashes you to the ground until your innermost core are shattered from within just like the tortoise shell.
The summary of all these remains the fact that I never saw this coming. It was like crossing an express road you double checked and confirmed to be safe and free from vehicle and all of a sudden while at the middle of the express road, you realized you are directly facing a mac truck, of course it is definitely too late. Only the last prayer could be said. But I won’t give up without a fight, not so easily.
Even the idea of not going down without a fight gave me more heart bum and goose bumps. I almost collapsed.
This is definitely not going to be easy for me. This is am certain of, if the ebullience ectasy of love can keep me awake, how much more the disastrous catastrophy of a bleeding heart break of betrayal.
Definitely, we have been on different pages and diverse priorities right from the onset. Who could tell?
I was a perfectly innocuous young gentleman until my Inamorata left me for another.
(MY LAST LOVE)