Is this what mental illness feels like?

Is this what mental illness feels like?

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“I shouldn’t laugh no i shouldn’t, i don’t deserve, when I’m having so much of problems then why should I laugh at public places and keep showing my teeth.”
I’m not suffering from heart break or something, just the same set of problems I’ve grown up with. It’s not that I want to expose my problems by being unhappy but laughing makes me feel guilty at the end of the day. I feel like this is the end of time and my life is always going to suck like this.

I feel like there are two people living inside me and the two are completely opposite of each other. I’m frequently caught in a situation where i have no clue why i was thinking that way. It’s like two people two minds.

Whenever I turn social the other tells me “no you have to be bound you don’t have to talk this much” while the latter says “it’s ok, this guy is good, I’ve no harm talking to him then why should i be reserved with him.

I socialise for a day and then i have drawbacks of how i talked how i behaved as if something inside says me to behave a particular way and be completely reserved. I feel like I’ve said something wrong, i recall all my conversation, there’s nothing wrong but still that guilt remains there.

Urwah Shah

I wish my vocabulary to be big enough so I can put my thoughts to words...

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